Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Heh: Swiss Army Tank!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Hippie Smackdown

Great conversation over in a TJICistani Starbucks:

Dude in Che shirt: <>

TJIC: Did you know that Che hated blacks and gays? And, also, he murdered a lot of people?

Dude: Uh…there are lots of opinions.

TJIC: True. There are also some facts.
Ha!

Why You Shouldn't Talk to Police

Disloyal Opposition has an excellent post with videos detailing several reasons why even innocent people should never, ever talk to the police voluntarily. For example:
At the very beginning of the video, Prof. Duane addresses the -- literally -- unknowable extent to which federal laws and regulations have grown, so that even the government itself has no idea how many punishable offenses there are. It's very easy for people with clean consciences to admit to violating laws and regulations they never knew existed.

What about the other side of the debate?

Responding in the same classroom to Prof. Duane, Office George Bruch of the Virginia Beach Police Department says ... the professor is absolutely right.
(emphasis mine)

Christmas Creep

This (ob)scene was photographed a few days ago:

School Choice Comedy!

Leave it to the Brits to come up with this cuttingly hilarious sketch in favor of school choice:



(via Tertium Quids)

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Fauxlympics

Here's a great article over at ESPN.com about how the Chinese government pulled out all the stops when it comes to faking like everythings all warm fuzzy sunshine and rainbows in Beijing. Also, it's pretty funny as it is written as if the Chinese censors have been actively redacting and revising the article on its way to the virtual presses.

But not quite everything went according to plan! Hilariously, the image projected in the stadium during the lighting of the torch, the climactic moment of the opening ceremonies, was this:

Look familiar? Let's look closer:

The Blue Screen of Death strikes again!

Monday, August 18, 2008

As a Vikings fan

I, for one, welcome the return of the Kyle Orton era!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

This man is evil. In a good way.

The quest to purchase a Patriots 19-0 hat from the stash that was donated to charity following the pats choking in the Superbowl. Just to torment Patriots fans. Awesome! And evil!

McDonalds ad: very awkward

You keep using that phrase. I do not think it means what you think it means.

(via The Agitator)

Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority tries to suppress speech; massively screws up

From the Wired blog:
The Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority filed a suit in federal court on Friday seeking a temporary restraining order to prevent three undergraduate students from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology from presenting a talk at the DefCon hacker conference this weekend about security vulnerabilities in payment systems used in the Massachusetts mass transit system.

The transit authority, known as the MBTA, is seeking to prevent the students from "publicly stating or indicating" that electronic passenger tickets used on the transit system have been compromised until the MBTA can fix security flaws in the system. It further seeks to bar the students from releasing any tools or providing any information that would allow someone to hack the transit system and obtain free rides.
"We screwed up. You found out. Therefore we can suppress your speech." But the stupidity of government doesn't stop there! The restraining order was issued, but:
the restraining order would have little effect in suppressing the information at this point since the speakers’ slides were on the conference CD-ROM, which had already been distributed to conference attendees Friday morning.
But wait! There's more:
Among the documents the MBTA filed with its declaration to the court today is a vulnerability assessment report (.pdf) that the three students gave the MBTA about the flaws in its system. The document is dated August 8, the day the MBTA filed its lawsuit against the students, and is essentially the information the students declined to give the MBTA before it filed its lawsuit.

Ironically, the document reveals more about the vulnerability in the MBTA system than the slides that the restraining order sought to suppress contain. The vulnerability assessment report is now available for anyone to download from the Massachusetts court's electronic records system.

They try to suppress the information, and end up publishing it themselves. Idiots.

Saturday, August 09, 2008

And brilliant satire came to pass...

Oh man. This is brilliant satire, and I love satire:

And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.

When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?”

There's a lot more. Go read it. Or, if you'd prefer, here it is in video form.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

WT*?

As a Vikings fan I may not be sad to see him leave Green Bay, but this is just wrong:


UPDATE: This is just hilarious:

Don't judge Brett Favre in "Madden NFL 09" by his cover.

When the latest edition of the football video game franchise is released Tuesday, it will still feature the quarterback in his Green Bay Packers uniform — despite the fact Favre was traded to the New York Jets.

But publisher Electronic Arts said it will release a downloadable update to make Favre a Jet in the game, as well as new cover art for anyone who wants it.

NYPD bullys bikers for no apparent reason, lies about it

Not that I have any particular affection for whatever these bike-riding protesters were advocating (to be honest I have no idea what they're protesting), but this video is a display of unethical cops (a) using excessive force and (b) lying like rugs on police reports. The actions of these police officers earned a riot, and they are damn lucky they didn't get one.

Excessive force:
  • man bodily thrown off his bike by police officer (seriously)
  • woman wrestled to the ground and (illegally!) arrested
  • guy with camera-bike dragged 30 feet while exclaiming "you're hurting me"
The video also shows several lies on the police reports of the incident which are clearly shown to be false by video of the incident, such as one man supposedly interfering with an arrest which occurred after he himself was already arrested and in custody, multiple people being told that they were not allowed to take pictures at all (when the report states they were merely told to back away), people being arrested while complying with police orders to leave (supposedly for not doing so), and many others. This is totally outrageous. What really takes the cake for me was the woman being arrested merely for taking pictures of the other arrests and refusing to show ID (all of which is within her rights). When she attempted to walk away, she was wrestled to the ground by six(!) police officers and was charged with several crimes.

And that, my friends, is why I will never allow a police officer in my home without a damn good reason or a warrant, and why I will comply only with the minimum necessary of their requests. Most are not lying scuzzbags, but unless you can tape your interactions with them (which they illegally and forcibly discourage), their word is accepted as truth as to what happened. I'll keep my interactions with them civil, but short. I know my rights, and they don't get to violate them just because they have shiny badges, spiffy uniforms, and lethal weapons.

Monday, August 04, 2008

Clearly I Played Offensive Tackle

No, really. I did. (Though our other tackle was dumber than a box of rocks...) NFL Player IQ by Position Played:


(found via)

Unpleasant Hypothetical

Tyler Cowen poses this hypothetical in a larger discussion about energy scarcity (or abundance):
What worries me is that first sentence: "energy is not scarce" -- it also could have been written "destructive energy is not scarce." A world where we solve our energy and environmental problems is also a world where small groups or lone individuals have great power to destroy.

...let's say that you can blow up the world if a) you can exceed 1550 on your two main SATs, b) you are willing to spend $50,000, and c) you sincerely wish for world destruction for one month straight.

How long would the world last?

Not cheerful.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

On ticking clocks

I find this scenario far more plausible than the Gore doomsday-mongering:
I think the point is that the clock really is ticking. If we don’t “do something” soon, we’ll probably see that we don’t really need to do anything really dramatic, and then the window for radical social change will be closed. So I expect the volume to get much louder.

From the far-off land of EPIC FAIL

(found here)

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Gas Prices are Inversely Proportional to Sensibility of Economic Proposals

Apparently Obama is sounding dumber than usual on the topic of high gas prices:
ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. -- Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama Friday pushed for a windfall profits tax to fund $1,000 emergency rebate checks for consumers besieged by high energy costs, a counter to Republican rival John McCain's call for more offshore drilling in coastal states like Florida.
Allow me to spell it out for any of you to whom this seems reasonable. There are two parts to this plan:
  1. Windfall profits tax on oil companies
  2. $1000 rebate checks intended to be spent on gasoline
Now allow me to translate these into what it's really doing:
  1. Taxing the production of petroleum products, including gasoline
  2. Subsidizing the consumption of gasoline
These will each have an effect on gas prices:
  1. The costs of taxing the production of gasoline is passed on to consumers, raising prices
  2. Subsidizing the consumption of gasoline increases demand, raising prices
What part of this is a solution to the problem of high prices? Obama has an economic advisor. Does he know he has one? Because Obama's clearly not listening to him/her/them.

Friday, August 01, 2008

He can have my cynicism when he pries it from my cold, dead hands

By now everyone must have heard this quote from Michelle Obama:
Barack Obama will require you to work. He is going to demand that you shed your cynicism. That you put down your divisions. That you come out of your isolation, that you move out of your comfort zones. That you push yourselves to be better. And that you engage. Barack will never allow you to go back to your lives as usual, uninvolved, uninformed.
To which I have now found the best response EVER:
I'd love to see a president, any president, try and take my cynicism. He would be met with a return salvo of high explosive cynicism so whithering that all children within five miles of him will instantly stop believing in the Easter bunny. And they will weep. Please, for the children, do not try to take my cynicism.
Ha! Agreed.

Postscript: Um... all I want is for politicians to leave me the hell alone. She's telling me that's precisely what Obama's not going to do. Not a good sales pitch for me.

Shakespeare Online

Hamlet! Erm... as told by the Facebook news feed? A snippet:
Hamlet thinks Ophelia might be happier in a convent.

Ophelia removed "moody princes" from her interests.

Hamlet posted an event: A Play That's Totally Fictional and In No Way About My Family

The king commented on Hamlet's play: "What is wrong with you?"

Polonius thinks this curtain looks like a good thing to hide behind.

Polonius is no longer online.

Morbidly Hilarious

A joke in poor taste on the recent Knoxville church shooting, but too funny not to pass on:

The poor SOB.

He hated Christians, and now he’s going to spend the rest of his life in jail…for shooting Unitarian Universalists, of all things!

A zero percent success rate!
A somewhat disturbing kernel of truth in that joke...

Mock Al Gore? Please Do!

The Onion once again hits the nail hilariously squarely on the head:
Al Gore Places Infant Son In Rocket To Escape Dying Planet

EARTH—Former vice president Al Gore—who for the past three decades has unsuccessfully attempted to warn humanity of the coming destruction of our planet, only to be mocked and derided by the very people he has tried to save—launched his infant son into space Monday in the faint hope that his only child would reach the safety of another world.
Ha!

In which the author attempts to avoid being maimed

I have been told in no uncertain terms that if I don't start titling my blog posts, a "friend" will break my fingers. This is an outcome I truly wish to avoid, and so:
I hereby decree that all posts on this blog will henceforth be titled, no matter how vexatious, trifling, or doltish the title or the content of the post thus titled may be. So let it be written; so let it be done.
Satisfied?

UPDATE: Also, here is how a sci-fi author makes a way-over-the-top decree.