Sunday, December 09, 2007

In honor of the Christmas Season, I give you "The Ten Least Successful Holiday Specials of All Time," which are all (of course) fictitious. My favorite parody? Ayn Rand's A Selfish Christmas, because it takes her artistic/rhetorical flaws to the absolute extreme:

In this hour-long radio drama, Santa struggles with the increasing demands of providing gifts for millions of spoiled, ungrateful brats across the world, until a single elf, in the engineering department of his workshop, convinces Santa to go on strike. The special ends with the entropic collapse of the civilization of takers and the spectacle of children trudging across the bitterly cold, dark tundra to offer Santa cash for his services, acknowledging at last that his genius makes the gifts -- and therefore Christmas -- possible. Prior to broadcast, Mutual Broadcast System executives raised objections to the radio play, noting that 56 minutes of the hour-long broadcast went to a philosophical manifesto by the elf and of the four remaining minutes, three went to a love scene between Santa and the cold, practical Mrs. Claus that was rendered into radio through the use of grunts and the shattering of several dozen whiskey tumblers. In later letters, Rand sneeringly described these executives as "anti-life."
I seriously laughed for five minutes... The Star Trek one got me pretty good, too.


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